Constant bombardment of negative information
Poor diet- junk food
Worry
Stress
Social isolation
Poor sleep or too much sleep
No physical activity
Loss of routine
William Butler Yeats wrote a rather famous poem called, “The Second Coming”. A kind of apocalyptic moment with Christian overtones but nevertheless the energy of the poem feels relevant. The line that comes to mind is:
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
So even if you do not typically experience depression or anxiety, the centres of your life and culture are likely not holding. And for some of you, any internal sense of safety, self and optimism may also feel challenged.
What can you do when this is now a necessary way of life for most of us? Especially if your job is gone or on hold, you must self-isolate to protect yourself or others, if your financial situation is fragile. If you are simply feeling helpless and afraid. If your plans for growth or just fun seem lost.
When the centers of your life are not there?
Even for those of you navigating this edge in a solid position, these may be thoughts and strategies to share this those you know who are not.
When my gym closed and classes were on hold, I was put out, but transitioned to the gym in my complex - for three days until the strata closed our gym. I don’t run due to an old sports related knee injury. I exercise for physical and mental health. Walking is not really exercise for me. I love the energy and connection of my spin class. It lifts my mood, energizes and motivates me. I was pretty mad.
I thought, “It’s a small gym and never have I seen more than five people there”. I imagined myself losing all the ground I’d gained over many years of staying fit. Saw my general physical health deteriorating daily. Felt the physical sensations of anxiety and non-activity take off. Got very cranky. Unhelpful but powerful thoughts and feelings. Small potatoes in this crisis obviously where people are facing truly difficult challenges, but it was an easy road to go down. Making a big thing out of a relatively small inconvenience.
Ok, so my point?
My thoughts and my emotions were sending me outside of my zone of tolerance. So I had a conversation with myself – a stern one. Two strategies stood out.
Change Unhelpful Thinking Patterns. I recognized, caught and started to change my thinking. It was not useful thinking. I had fallen prey to the thinking styles of anxiety and depression or at least unhappiness and frustration. All states of mind, by the way, that interfere with healthy immune functioning and useful problem solving and strategizing.
Radical Acceptance: Marsha Linehan writes there are four stances when faced with a problem:
Change the situation
Change our feelings towards the situation
Accept the situation
Suffer
Marsha says we can’t avoid pain, but suffering is optional. I was choosing suffering. Suffering stems from railing against realities we simply cannot change. When I chose to simply accept the situation, for now, in this moment, my mind was freer to find and accept options. I’m still unhappy about it. I know it will be a challenge to return to where I am if this continues. I’m not 100% in agreement with the strata decision. I slip back periodically. But I accept that I cannot change it. And I’m finding ways to manage.
Ask yourself what can you change or modify? In your circumstances? In your thoughts?
And if all else seems inadequate try radical acceptance.
Choose not to add suffering to the pain. Your mind and your body – and the people you care about - will thank you.
*My next posting will provide strategies to improve your outlook and manage mood.